Oh the newborn period! It has basically ended for me I guess and my Baby Summer is now an infant for that matter - she's now five weeks old. That fast! Yes, yesterday marked my baby's 5th week here on earth. I wanted to write about everything nice and beautiful again this time but I wanted to face some postpartum realities. And so here goes...
I looked at myself naked in the mirror and I almost fainted!!! I couldn't believe my eyes - Jesus f*****g Christ! (Excuse me) I can't believe how my husband still finds me sexy and desirable at the very least despite the right-in-your-face saggy skin. I would not lie - it's not pretty with all the stretch marks I see. Huge mistake! I should not have looked at myself, especially my belly, only a few weeks postpartum. Piece of advice: It is always best to let things settle a bit before you bravely face your reflection. Mirror's may lie but this time our mirror didn't lie - at all! Maybe, just maybe, after six months, I would have the gusto to look at my naked self yet again.
When I got pregnant one of the things that made me so excited was the thought of not having my monthly period for a few months. I told myself I am going to save a lot from not using sanitary napkin for my period. Until I gave birth and I bled - for so many days. I still am bleeding up to this day and it ain't fun at all. I practically used up all the pads I saved when I was pregnant. No fun at all!
Pain meds were my saving grace. I was never a fan of pain killers/relievers before and during my pregnancy but that preference changed after my c-section. I loved that my going home medication advise has this line - "pain meds may be taken as needed". I needed it! Recovery was hell for me although I was able to move faster than I thought I would. I am still using a stomach binder now and it's only now that I appreciate the strength of my midsection. It totally is different when you are not nursing an incision in that region. For real, pain meds are the bomb!
I am not getting enough sleep! Yes, you read that right. Feeding and nappy change times have killed my sleep time and I am just fortunate that the hubby is around to help me. This ain't good at all! However, I would gladly give up sleep so I have more time to take care of my little one. Every zombie-like moment is definitely worth the different kind of joy that I feel.
I have "momnesia". I have been very forgetful and I don't know if this is a legit medical condition. I have to live with it every single day. There are times that I would enter the bedroom and totally forget why I did so. I would cook and forget to put salt or go to the grocery and totally forget the most important item in the list. There was also a time when I practically turned everything upside down while looking for my baby's comb only to find it inside her nappy bag and when I was trying to remember where I hid her hair accessories only to find it in the corner of her cot. It's frustrating! I used to have very sharp memory and I rarely forget things. But now I do and I don't know until when I have to live with this.
I don't mean to scare anyone with this post. I am just sharing my experience. I don't have postpartum depression either. Still I can't end this post without sharing some positive vibes to you this week. I hope you all realize, myself included, that no matter how difficult things are - the truth is that things will get easier.
To each and every postpartum reality that I am experiencing and about to experience I say - BRING IT ON! I will worry about you later - my baby will not be a baby forever!
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Princess Buenviaje
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